Visitors

My girlfriend was here for only 6 days, but I enjoyed every minute we shared. She helped me get my mind out of many things. It was great to be with her again! I wish I could go back to Germany, but so far, no luck on the Lotto!
A month ago was my last conversation with my oldest friend... I still can't stop thinking of her. I feel I have an emotional build up that could explode at any moment. I haven't cried for her because my anger is still so strong! I guess at some point everything will become a reality, and my anger will open up a door to the pain of loosing her.
My mom arrived yesterday, we haven't seen each other in almost 2 years, so it was a refreshing encounter face to face. We talk on the phone almost everyday anyway.
How can someone reconnect with their own feelings? I feel numb, like something is wrong, but I can't do anything to stop it.