I woke up with another number on my age, some aches and pains resulting from short sleep, and a deep need for hope. I'm still wondering why people that doesn't know us are hating us, why are they not willing to give us equal rights. I believe it is not only a matter of every state deciding to grant those rights or not. It is a much bigger picture that only Connecticut and Massachusetts are looking at. I wonder also, since the same sex marriage is legal there, are they having all the same rights as heterosexuals? Does it include immigration laws (since it is a Federal matter as far as I know)? What about adoption? In Spain same sex marriage applies to every aspect, just like heterosexual marriage: Immigration, adoption, inheritance, tax, etc. I feel we are still so far away from something significant happening... at least in New York the same sex marriages performed in other states are recognized as legal marriages. Why am I thinking about this? I don't want to get married, I don't really believe in the institution itself, but I have dear friends with kids that would like to have the protection of the marriage in their lives. Just for them, I need to speak up.
I found this on the internet. I'm not one of his fans, but I agree with everything he says here... And I guess many of us do too.
Here's the direct link on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhrNjMgmrds
The full text of his comment:
SPECIAL COMMENT By Keith Olbermann
Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast.
Some parameters, as preface. This isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics, and this isn't really just about Prop-8. And I don't have a personal investment in this: I'm not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.
And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics. This is about the human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.
If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not understand. Why does this matter to you? What is it to you? In a time of impermanence and fly-by-night relationships, these people over here want the same chance at permanence and happiness that is your option. They don't want to deny you yours. They don't want to take anything away from you. They want what you want—a chance to be a little less alone in the world.
Only now you are saying to them—no. You can't have it on these terms. Maybe something similar. If they behave. If they don't cause too much trouble. You'll even give them all the same legal rights—even as you're taking away the legal right, which they already had. A world around them, still anchored in love and marriage, and you are saying, no, you can't marry. What if somebody passed a law that said you couldn't marry?
I keep hearing this term "re-defining" marriage. If this country hadn't re-defined marriage, black people still couldn't marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal in 1967. 1967.
The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn't have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it's worse than that. If this country had not "re-defined" marriage, some black people still couldn't marry black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized, if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, or mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not "Until Death, Do You Part," but "Until Death or Distance, Do You Part." Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized.
You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are gay.
And uncountable in our history are the number of men and women, forced by society into marrying the opposite sex, in sham marriages, or marriages of convenience, or just marriages of not knowing, centuries of men and women who have lived their lives in shame and unhappiness, and who have, through a lie to themselves or others, broken countless other lives, of spouses and children, all because we said a man couldn't marry another man, or a woman couldn't marry another woman. The sanctity of marriage.
How many marriages like that have there been and how on earth do they increase the "sanctity" of marriage rather than render the term, meaningless?
What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don't you, as human beings, have to embrace... that love? The world is barren enough.
It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.
And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling. With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?
With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate... this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then Spread happiness—this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness—share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate.
You don't have to help it, you don't have it applaud it, you don't have to fight for it. Just don't put it out. Just don't extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don't know and you don't understand and maybe you don't even want to know. It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow person just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too.
This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial.
But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this:
"I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam," he told the judge. It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all: So I be written in the Book of Love; I do not care about that Book above. Erase my name, or write it as you will, So I be written in the Book of Love."
I decided that before I criticize any of his actions or his choices, I'll give him 2 years. In that time he'll be able to do some of the things he has promised. With his election, a new page in history has been written. Not only America is expecting the most of him, not only his supporters but his adversaries too. With the world crisis he is also being observed by many in the world. I found this caricature that explains a lot. Loosely translated: "Come on, Obama, You can, c'mon"
And thinking of Prop 8, I just hope somehow that people in California will understand that giving the same rights to ALL the citizens, doesn't mean that their own rights will be taken away. I still can't understand how everybody gets to vote to cancel a small group's rights to just be happy.
I've been in a battle with myself over voting or not. I have the feeling that my vote will not count really, because in my state there is a "sure winner" that I don't like. I don't like his opponent either! I looked into the other candidates and I don't like anyone. So why vote? I don't want to give my vote to someone I don't trust, simply because I'm registered in his political party. I just don't want him to have my vote. But after doing some little research, I found that I can actually write in the name of a person I believe should be president... so that's what I'll be doing! I'll vote following my conscience. I will not betray all the women that fought for my right to choose. I will not betray my pledge of allegiance to the flag and the nation for which it stands. It is my right and my obligation as a citizen. So, if like me you are having doubts about who to vote for, please go and vote! You can always write in your own candidate. Who knows? maybe our votes will count too.
My mom is a breast cancer survivor, but some dearest friends lost the battle to it. Please don't be one of them. Do your self exam at least once a month, check your breasts, have a mammogram. October is the month to remind everybody that, and here is something interesting that Ellen Degeneres did. So pass it along, do it yourself, we can all do a little bit to help find a cure for breast cancer.
When I saw Sarah Palin for the first time, few weeks ago on TV after McCain chose her as his running mate, I thought: Wow, now she is a MILF! A hot momma that can stand her own! I was totally into her! I even liked her speech at the Convention. But then I started listening closer, her interviews, her very few comments... she totally reminded me of a terrible date I had once. She is attractive, looks nice, but she can't talk without being totally scary! I'm enjoying very much the comedic inspiration that she is giving to the people at Saturday Night Live. I've laughed until I cried with TIna Fey impersonating her. I'm not very much into politics, and I don't think I'm really capable of writing about it. I got pretty much disengaged when Hillary got out of the race. I don't like Obama at all. But after hearing Sarah Palin talk, I will be voting against the McCain/Palin ticket. I'm a democrat but I don't like the ticket. I have been thinking about not voting... I still have to decide.
Ok, honestly I cried and almost peed my pants watching this video!!! Love these women!!
Here's another longer version. The second part made me cry too, but for very different reasons. Some people should stick with what they know. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aq2L9j1au3Q
I was at the Mall and took some pictures. As an allegoric of our foot prints in life, some of these pictures made me think: how fast do we go in life? Well, for some people, fast enough that we don't leave a foot print. But other pass by our lives leaving such impression that everything else is a blur around them. I wonder if I'm leaving a deep enough foot print in the lives of the people I love the most.
I've been taking a vacation from writing here, more than anything, because I don't have the inspiration to do so. Sometimes it is harder to concentrate when there are so any things in my head claiming for attention. What have I been doing? Many things! I did some dog sitting, took pictures, had friends visiting over, and took my time to watch lots of films and TV shows that I haven't seen in a while. Basically I was getting up to date with some things I abandoned. Now is the blogs turn!
I want to share with you a couple of pictures I took this summer.
For the second year in a row, Afterellen.com have chosen the 100 top women that lesbians find HOT. All the members of the website voted for their 10 top women. Most of my choices made the list, including Number 1, Tina Fey.
They are not the typical "hotties" with big breast and short skirts wearing wet white t-shirts!. They are smart beautiful women who can be great role models for little girls.
I took some of my favorite pictures that they have on the site and made this little collage.
Again they are an incredible group of women, of different sizes, colors and ages. It is a refreshing look at women, that not always are the ones that men find hot.
Take a look at After Ellen and see the whole 100 hottest women of 2008.
Well, after almost two years of seen each other at least once a week, flirting, me looking and looking, her... well, she just kept teasing me, exposing herself on the screen, showing me how out of my league she was. I felt bad, but secretly my desires were burning deep inside. I even tried looking for someone else! She was too much for me, I just couldn't even imagine the posibility of having her all to myself. I saw her with someone else, and it was nice, so nice that I had an even deeper desire. But things happen for a reason, I'm sure! After flirting, teasing me, I found that she could be in my league after all. So, after a couple of days dealing with her and her people, I finally did it. I decided that she'll be more helpful to me right here, next to me, helping me with work, and doing stuff that now I can't do. I am so looking forward to spend endless hours together.... Next time I'll show you her picture.
Yes, I know the series ended few years ago. But I never got to actually see the last season of those fake New York apartments! I missed the whole development into Chandler and Monica's moving out of the city with twins, and the re-union of Ross and Rachel. I liked the empty apartment space, the colors of the walls looked a lot better with the furniture... I bet none of the bloggers that are moving soon in New York, have found an apartment like the one they featured on "Friends". I remember that the first year I was in Germany, I missed watching TV. Then I got used to not watching too much. I actually discovered the German documentaries and I became an addict to "Wissen" and "Galileo". I learned everything about making sausages, building houses, and anything in between. Then I found some American series dubbed into German, and didn't like them at all. Well, at least I was improving my German skills with episodes that I've seen in English and remembered more or less what they were about, but still, there is so much missing in the translation!
Life in NY is getting better. I still don't have a job, but there are some posibilities to do something interesting. Went to the city yesterday and met with a friend with some project. We'll see how it comes to reality. And by the way, the "Goodburger" on Broadway and 18th... really good hamburgers and actually pretty decent in price. Still, I miss my girlfriend. I wish we could be closer.
We live in a very fast world, everything evolves, everything changes, and if you don't change, then you are left behind and out of it. We all change in our personal lives... that is also part of growing up, a sign that you are evolving as a person. The truth is, change is good, except when you are faced with radical changes without time to adjust to them. It feels so hard to accept the changes! Depression comes in knocking in your head, some times takes over and doesn't allow you to continue. It is a battle agains your will, a need to continue. Something will come around, you'll feel better, and life will be nice again. But until that happens, it sucks! Then, I read the news: Myanmar's Cyclone, China's earthquake... the devastation, the losses, the pain. My life is really good! I miss my girlfriend very much.
It's been difficult, rather strange, to see myself again at home in New York. I mean, it is my apartment, some of the furniture still here, but so many things have changed. It feels a little cold (and I'm not talking temperature wise) Something is missing. Maybe a routine, maybe some furniture that I feel mine. Even the new mattress as comfortable as it is, doesn't feel like mine yet. I don't remember feeling this in Berlin, but I'm sure it was probably something like that. Only now my girlfriend is not here. We had a wonderful time together when she was here on vacation. It was good to see her, to share so much, and it is sad to miss her as much as I do. Now I'm on my quest to find a job, to adapt to the city I called my home, to accept the changes and deal with everything around. The advantage from my window point of view, is that there are sunny days almost every day. Spring is coming and it is getting warmer. I've been watching movies and getting updated to everything I missed. Even TV has changed! I don't have cable, so I'm limited to whatever is available on "free tv", and confirming that somehow, Cable TV has become a necessity! I don't know yet what I want to do in the working force. I've been checking out things on the net, sent some resumes, even did some little jobs and got paid already. One of my friends wants to do a project so I'm doing research about that. I feel a little empty. I wish I had something better to say. I wanted to get back into writing in this blog, but I'm not sure if I should continue. We'll see.
It is 6 am, woke up a couple of hours ago. I'm still on European time. Yesterday was a "recovering day" from my trip. To say I was exhausted is not enough. I was extremely tired, a combination of all the physical activity that comes with packing, moving, throwing garbage, and of course flying accross the ocean, having jetlag, carrying 7 heavy suitcases, backpacks and duffelbags. The emotional aspect of leaving and starting a long distance relationship is probably what weights more than anything. It was a wave of sadness contained by the pressure of time and the taxi waiting for me. We both tried focusing on something else, on the fact that we'll see each other sooner than we think, on the things that had to be done after I left, on cleaning and getting rid of things. It was very sad to be there, in that apartment one last time, thinking of the first night we spent there. I remembered that even before I opened the door, I decided that I wouldn't move out until I left to go back to the US... I'm going to see my girlfriend soon, I am really looking forward to see her and for us to share time here in New York. I'm looking forward to arrange things, to make my apartment my home again. I'm missing many things! The first thing I made was a soup with the only little pot I brought with me, but I didn't have any plates to serve it or any spoon to eat it with! So I had soup on a plastic cup, with the spoon that came with the milk frother (my perfect milk frother that I also carried back!) Today I will be looking at a car, one of those old cheap cars I found on craigslist.... it will be cheaper than renting a car when my girlfriend comes... and that way I can go and pick up the free stuff that people are offering around NY! I decided that I will not spend money if I can help it. I already sent my resume to a couple of places, but haven't even unpacked! I opened 3 of the suitcases, looking for things I needed right away. Things have to be better from the financial point of view, the main reason I had to leave Berlin. For the first time in 5 years I was happy to see the dollar so low: 1.53 for 1 Euro! At least I still have Euros that will become more dollars when I exchange them back. I'm tired. I need to get back to sleep a little before I get out and do all the stuff that I want today. Life is too short to be sad about the things we can't change, I know that... but it doesn't mean that I feel better being to far away from my love...
Today is the last day that I will have internet here at home. Turns out that America on Line/Alice who are the providers of my internet, can't actually allow me to have it until the day I leave, because since my first day of my contract with them was the 29th, then my last day has to be the 29th... talk about not wanting to make some extra money, or not knowing how to charge per day. But like everything else here in Germany, it's just the way it is! I'm leaving on the 5th, but my phone will not be turned off until the 17th. And the Cable TV will still be available until the 31st of March. Customer service??? Fine thanks! The client is never right, and they are doing you a favor with their services, so they really don't care what you think. This is something I will not miss!!! I will miss the freedom and lack of censorship on TV! Here I've seen full frontal nudity so many times! Oh! and on those MTV shows where everybody is cursing all the time (Flavor of Love, I love New York...etc) well, there is no "beeps" so you can actually hear every single word they say. They don't dubb them, they put subtitles on them. That New York woman is pretty nasty with her language! I will definitely miss biking around on lanes designed specially for bikes, the flatness of the city, the cafés and the shawarma. I'll miss these very rare sunny days when the city looks so nice. If it wasn't for the system and the weather, Berlin is the perfect city! It is small enough, hardly ever there is real traffic, is well maintained, the people are nice and friendly, there is a lot of culture going on, a lot of different places to go, and not really expensive to live here. Of course if you make your money in dollars, then it becomes impossible! Yesterday 1 Euro was 1.51 dollars.... My house is still in chaos, but I feel better... I'm still worried about my bed because I haven't found a buyer for it. But other things are getting on their way to be solved. Of course I hope that by tomorrow I'll have already pack my clothes and start cleaning up on the weekend. There are still boxes to fill up, things to throw and give away... I'm getting into all these, because is very hard to face my feelings. I know that it will not be easy to be without my girlfriend, the availability of seeing each other very often. I fear the long distance, but I guess I'll love the frequent flyer miles.
I just woke up from a dream that I have to qualify as a nightmare! There were no monsters, or running, or dead people or some horrible thing. It was just the weirdest thing I've ever dreamt. I've been packing and doing things, and at the same time, I've been dealing with emotions that are shaky at times. I might be fine and all of a sudden feel depressed, or feel anxious. I get tired early at night and I'm getting up early in the morning. Basically I'm not living my regular life. So, in my dream, I was already in New York, it was the next day after I arrived and I was on my way to a job interview in Manhattan. Only Manhattan looked more like downtown Caracas, with very narrow walkways and cars parked on the streets, and very narrow streets. Nothing like New York. There was almost no traffic or people (which is more a characteristic of Berlin, and not NY nor Caracas), and I was looking at the green light that I was approaching to cross. When I got to the corner, the light changed so I stopped. There was a woman dressed in a police uniform that was light with some green (the police in Berlin wears green!) and when the light turned green again, I noticed that to my left there was a line of people, and the woman told me: "Ma'm, you have to be on the line if you want to cross the street". That left me speechless! I was in shock! I was mad and disturbed at the same time. What had happened to New York? Then she told me something else that I don't remember, and I was out of myself! I told her I was going to the media to tell everybody! I said: I will go to Regis and tell him! (Now that was the weirdest thing! I don't like Regis Philbin at all!) I was screaming and furious with the woman! And if that was little, I kept walking and found a Hot Dog Stand, and asked for a hotdog with everything. The guy asked me: what's everything? He didn't know I wanted onions and fries and mustard and ketchup and whatever they put in them (just like in Caracas). He just gave the bread and the wiener without anything and said it was five dollars! I woke up sweating! That was too much to be a dream... too many mixed feelings and experiences that are having a ball with my weak subconsciousness! Then I turned the TV on and watch on CNN the news. I hate what the media is doing with Obama... they are making him look like a rockstar, and to me he just can't sell what he says. I certainly hope people react and see things as they are. This guy has no experience in politics, is just the hype, and I'm pretty sure he will not do a good job. I hope democrats choose Hillary as the nominee.
I think that the frequent flyer programs should not be limited to just the airline or group of airlines that one uses. There should be a program where all the miles YOU did, was what counted, as a general thing for ALL the airlines! I came back from New York, which was in itself a crazy trip, and 2 days later went to Spain. Just got back few hours ago. I see the mess in my house, and all the things I have to do, and I feel like this is way too fast! I wish there was a better way to do things. But there isn't. Little by little I'll deal with everything I have to do. Right now, I'm going out to have dinner with my Girlfriend... we never celebrate Valentine's Day, but we might as well start tonight. I need the help of a genie so I can do everything I need to do in the very short time I have to do it. I'm leaving on the 5th of March to New York. If you have Aladdin's number, please post it! Thank you.
OK, you are probably thinking that this is way too fast! And yes, it is. I am going to NY this weekend, because there is a combination of things: I have this month to move, I can take as many things as possible with me, I got a pretty good deal for the weekend, and that way I can receive my apartment and set up things for when I move back, probably by the end of the month. Is not easy, but this is what I gotta do. So here in Germany, I already sent the letter of "resignation" of contract with my cable TV company, which will end my service promptly the 31st of March. Yes, they need 3 months in advance to cut the service! Fortunately they counted January as one of the months. I have to do the same with my phone company, but only 3 weeks before ending the contract, more or less the same as it was to start the service. And apparently only the electricity can be billed up to the last minute and then they'll send the bill to someone in Germany, because they can't send it to NY. On the other hand, tonight after I booked my flight, I signed up for Vonage, and it is already working, my new phone number is able to receive messages. I also requested internet service through cable TV, which I only have to pick up the self installation kit when I get there. So yes, that made my happy. I do miss that kind of service, the way things work right away! The only bad thing is that I return on Monday, and only my friends who support Obama are happy that I will not be able to vote for Hillary. But I certainly hope that New York gives the victory to Hillary! I actually looked to see if I could return on tuesday after voting, but the difference in price was 300 dollars, and that will not be counted as a tax deduction contribution to the Democrat's campaign! LOL! So, Hillary, sorry I can't vote for you on the Primaries. This is weird... I am sad to leave Berlin, but happy to go to NY. Hopefully I'll be a very frequent traveler after I get the job of my dreams, a job that will pay me enough to come visit my girlfriend at least once a month. Who knows? Maybe my destiny is to go to NY because I'm going to win the Lotto Jackpot! I can't sleep and keep dreaming awake! Good Night!
A couple of months ago, I was writing about the possibility of returning to the States due to financial problems. Well, it will happen sooner than I had plan, and it will not be Pittsburgh after all! I was with the idea of Pittsburgh because I had rented my apartment in NYC, so it would've been easier to be in Pittsburgh and then when my tenant decided to leave, I would decide then. Well, she notified me she was laid off and has to move by the end of this month. So, all of a sudden, my apartment is available again, the Euro is almost 1.50 dollars, and I have to make a decision. Well, to me it is a sign that I need to go back to NY. I don't know exactly what will happen, I don't know what kind of job I can get, but I want to think that it is what I am supposed to do. Otherwise, how can I explain all these? Of course emotionally this is driving me crazy! I'm sad, I don't want to have a long distance relationship, but maybe it is possible to do. I found that now Air Berlin has direct flights to JFK, and they start as low as 106 Euros one way! So, perhaps I'll accumulate enough miles, and so will my girlfriend. It will be all a matter of adjusting to a new situation. I found already that Vonage has a plan where many international calls are covered and are free within that price. And (the best thing so far) I saved 170 Euros that I would've paid to have my computer repaired! I need to change the Optical drive and the same drive is $99 in the US... So, I'm looking forward to go back to a system where the client is always right, where everything can be obtained right away, where the stores are open later than 8 pm, and on Sundays too, where you don't need to notify companies 3 months in advance to get things done, and where the chinese food taste the way it supposed to! So, if anybody that reads this blog, has any suggestions on phone savings besides Vonage, or any other suggestions, please write me. I'm thinking I will get internet conection with Cable, have Vonage as phone, and not get cable TV but instead get Netflix, and have a movie to watch every night. That will be cheaper than having Cable TV, don't you think? The shows I love I can read the recaps on AfterEllen.com, or have marathon watching at a friend's house, because she saves everything on her DVR! Oh! and if you own or have contacts with an international moving company, please contact me. My email is in the disclaimer at the end of this page.
Lesbe ohne Grenzen Lesbienne sans frontière Lesbiana sin fronteras Lésbicas Sem Fronteiras Lesbiske uden grænser Lesbo ilman rajoja Lezbejka bez granica Lesbijka bez granic Lesbiche senza frontiere Lesbian tanpa batas Lesbienne zonder grenzen Lesbiyanang walang hangganan. Lizbjani minghajr fruntieri Mugarik gabeko lesbiana Lesbisk utan gränser Lesbiad heb cyffin Lesbian sonder grense Lesbíur án landamæra Lesbisk Uten Grendser Piirideta lesbi Leszbikus határok nélkül Sınır tanımayan lezbiyenler Lezbiană fără frontiere leispiach taobh amuigh de teorainn
拉子無疆界 "laji woo jangjay" (in English.) Лезбиянка без границ "lezbiyanka bez granits" ทอม ไม่มีชายแดน "Tom mai me chai dan " לסבית ללא גבולות "Lesbit lelo gvulot" Λεσβίες χωρίς σύνορα "Lesvies horis sinora" شاذات بلا حدود "Lesbians Bla Hdood " 境界のないレズビアン "kyoukai no nai lezubian" Đồng Tính Nữ Không Ranh Giới เลสเบี้ยนไร้พรมแดน "lesbian rai praom dan"
