I'm Baack!... and so is Star Jones??

Yes, I'm back in Berlin, still out of my schedule and sleeping all over with the jetlag from 6 hours behind, but enjoying home and trying to rest from my vacation.
So far, I met my girlfriend and we had a great time talking about everything. I've been "wasting" my time reading stuff on the Internet, and found that Star Jones, the only woman that was on The View that I couldn't stand at any moment and much less after she lost herself on weight, is back on TV with a show but not with a live audience. I hope she does well, just because I don't want to wish anything bad to anybody, but she really sucks!!! I find her terribly fake and I'm sure her husband is gay! He looks gay! I don't have anything against gay people marrying for convenience! I just can't stand her!
Oh, I miss Meredith on The View. This is just one of those things that I miss the most living in Europe: American TV. It is not the same to watch "House" in German or in Spanish. Dubbing something is killing the intention of the writers and the audience misses the acting that comes with the original voice.
I don't have a problem dubbing animated movies, but I want my Desperate Housewives in English with subtitles!
Berlin feels like summer, which is good! I see the long sunsets and the huge clouds that were so different in the tropics, where I was for 3 weeks, and I can't but admire how different are things from one place to the other.
I enjoy the German documentaries, they are very interesting and entertaining.
I still don't know what happened to Harry Potter on the last book. But I guess I'll be reading the books, since my nephew got into them.
Oh! Now I'm hooked with the recaps of South of Nowhere on Afterellen.com. How is it possible that a teenage drama grabs my attention so much, without me seeing any of the episodes?? I think I am too gay!

Vacation time

I´m on vacation in Venezuela! The weather is fine, hot but rainy most days. There are many things happening, and I´m meeting friends every day, having a good time and enjoying life in the tropics for one more week, before I go back to Berlin.
I´ll upload pictures as soon as I´m back. Ooops... gotta go! My friends just came to pick me up!

The Death of Harry Potter! (or my comments to Ms. Rowling)

So, is he the one that dies in the last book?
Who dies??
Why would you want to end a story that has brought you more money than you ever thought possible, specially when you started writing the first book?
I'm sorry Ms Rowling, but since I am not actually a "Potter fan" (and I understand why they are not really called "Potter Heads") I don't have a problem speculating about what is going on with this book.
It is definitely an incredible phenomena! The secrecy of your books is much better protected than the secrecy of confession by a catholic priest who likes gossip!
I am one of those rare people who hasn't read any of the books or watched any of the movies. So I don't really care if he dies or if he continues to live. I rather not get involved anymore with fictional characters... I'm still recovering from the death of Dana on "The L Word", not to mention my addiction to "Bad Girls", but at least they have something I can identify with!
But I have to admit, Harry Potter has to have something. I am sure they are great works, and I admire you deeply, Ms. Rowling! You have made a whole generation that is growing up surrounded by video games and computer games, to go and pick up a book... and actually read it to end! Of course it doesn't hurt that there's Harry Potter merchandise, Harry Potter video games, and of course the most money making machine, the Harry Potter movies franchise!
I saw the lines of kids in London waiting for midnight, so they could buy a copy of your last installment of the famous boy with glasses. I even saw a brief report about how it was against Jewish law to open the stores and sell anything on the Sabbath (referring of course to the fact that the bookstores wanted to be open in Israel, so the fans could get their book on release day too!)
Do you have any idea of the influence you have all over the world? I guess you do. One of my friends who I respect very much is planning a literary course based on the Harry Potter books!
I went to your ""official site" and I loved the design! You have endless pieces of used gum packs all over! I guess your dentist is a very happy guy too. Is that a good example to set for your fans? Ruin your teeth chewing gum?
I was also very happy to see what a mess you have in your desk, just like me! Only I still don't have any spiders crawling around! (not that I've seen any so far)
So, since this weekend I've been bombarded with Harry Potter, I decided to just dedicate this post to him. I thought of writing also about the Tour de France, but those guys have still one more week to go and there's plenty of time for me to comment on them.
I'm wondering... are there any lesbians on the Harry Potter stories? I doubt it... it wouldn't be that popular! LOL!

Happy Gays are here to stay!!

Today I'm in a good mood! The sun was shining, the warm weather is back in Berlin, the strawberry ice cream was delicious, and I decided to do a little collage with the few pictures I took when Berlin celebrated the Street Fair for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transsexuals. How do you like it?
I noticed that I didn't have any picture of lesbians! Shame on me!!! But we got there late, it was raining earlier, and we got together with other friends... so, I basically forgot that I was with the camera and should have taken pictures. Maybe next time.
The only sad thing I have to report, is that I had to give away the only plant that has been in my house since I moved here to Berlin. The reason is because I'll be going away for almost a month, and also the fact that the poor plant was approaching a certain death under my care!
I've never been good with plants. I don't have a green thumb (or any finger for that matter) I think they don't like me! I was doing exactly what everybody else does, but this plant was looking at me so sad! So, I gave it to my neighbors. They'll take care of her.
With kids and animals I am much better! They usually like me and we have a great time! My nephews and the kids of my friends can testify for that. And with animals, I'm also pretty good, even when I had to improvise a short funeral for a gold fish with my nephews. They were convinced that "Hansom Face" had a happy life before flushing him down the toilette.
On other news, some of the candidates for the Democrat's nomination will be participating in a forum on gay issues. That will be interesting to watch. I have my doubts that they'll be that open and will say the things we are waiting for them to say, like their position on same sex marriage... we'll see.

My girlfriend is getting better every day, and that alone is the best news for me!
I was listening to Barbra Streisand, hence the title of this post. Later !

Rooting for the "underdog"... Paul Potts.

I am not one of those who watch TV shows where people go for competition to become singers or dancers. Show's like America's Idol, in any version (I've seen the one in Spain and here in Germany) are really not my favorite. I feel disappointed when people go there and they are really bad. It makes me feel uncomfortable. But there are exceptions, and I know I missed most of them.
I just watched one of those stories that moved me and almost made me cry. Perhaps I'm too sensitive today, but I think it is really a great story. Paul Potts is this guy that few weeks ago was a simple unknown cell phone salesman, and got his chance of showing that he got talent in "Britain's got talent". His audition was something amazing, and that's why I wanted to share it.


The best thing is that even Simon Cowell was amazed!
This underdog story of success, makes me think that there is always an oportunity for a new begining, no matter what one has been through!

"Hospital food sucks!"

I'm back in Berlin after 11 days sharing with my nephews in Spain. It was a great visit. Being with them is always fun, entertaining and I come back exhausted! I was looking forward to come back so I could visit my girlfriend in the hospital. She went through a very serious operation, but she is doing great! I went to visit her today, and we were talking about many things. I brought her some Manchego Cheese from Spain, and Gummy Bears. But I should have brought something else! She told me plain and simple that "Hospital food sucks!" It made me laugh! We recently saw "Rain Man", and we laughed at Dustin Hoffman's character saying "K-Mart sucks!"
That's when I thought... how many things I take for granted every day? From my health to those little details, like food that is apetizing, like a nice sunny day to celebrate a summer festivity, like a breeze of fresh air in a room that is probably too hot and uncomfortable? Millions of things that I have and that I take for granted!
Life is too short, and I want to enjoy every minute of it. I want to be able to see everyday for what it is: a new unwrapped gift waiting for me to open it. filled with surprises, with new adventures, with new knowledge. I know is easier to concentrate in the simple things, in the smaller things, and that way the bigger things will be a lot easier to take.
With an "L" that is backwards made of staples, she is getting better every day, and it made me happy to hear her say that hospital food sucks! Tomorrow, what about Sushi?

Gay Pride

I´ve been gay for a long time, but only for the last 12 years or so I´ve been more open. Last weekend in Berlin, there was a Street Fair dedicated to Gays and Lesbians. It was pretty crowded like always, and I got the chance to meet people that basically I only see once a year! We got together with friends, and walked around a little. I took some pictures and I´ll post them later when I get back to Berlin. Today is practically impossible because I can´t dump them into this computer. So, I owe you those pictures!
This weekend is the "Christopher Street Day" in Berlin. There will be a parade to celebrate Gay Pride; people will fill up the streets. There will be the gay supporters, the closeted, the out and proud, and of course the curious passer by that can´t take their eyes of those beautiful men that are walking around with such tight and sexy outfits it makes it impossible not to look! The good thing about Berlin, is that being naked is allowed, and there will be also many people walking around completely naked. The bad thing, is that many of them don´t have such great bodies...
Unfortunately I will not be there this year to show you some pictures, but I´ll try to get some from my friends.
I´ve been to many parades! Loved the ones in New York City! Now I reached the point in my life that is not so important to go and march and be "out and proud". Being a lesbian on my everyday life, is perhaps the best I can do, even when I can´t be that out and proud!
Happy Gay Pride Month!

Spain for few days...

One of those things that I planned in advance because is cheap! So, I am in Barcelona for few days, enjoying my time with two of the smartest people I know. One is five years old, the other one is seven! They are very much into dinosaurs, pirates, and japanese cartoons. They also show their love with hugs and kisses, and constantly ask what some word means. I´m crazy about them, they are crazy about me. Every time we get together is party time! They trust that I will protect them no matter what, and trust my better judgement for some situations. They are learning English, but they are also fluent in Catalonian and are Spanish speakers. Their eyes light up with every single little gift that I bring them, no matter how little or cheap or whatever. It matters that their favorite aunt brought it. They are the love of my life. Such intense feeling, so unconditional, so incredibly deep since the first moment I had them in my arms... I can only imagine what a mother feels!
I love being an aunt!

What is it about WOMEN??

Please, lets observe for a moment. There is something very special about the women in the picture.
What is it?
Is it their eyes? Their lips? Their hair? Their soft skin? Perhaps their smile? What is it that makes them beautiful, interesting, sexy?
There are a million things I like about women! If I make a review of all the women I've been attracted to my whole life, and the women that I've been involved with, I have to come to the same conclusion every time. They all have in common that they are smart women. Some much more than others! But that was basically what attracted me to them.
To me that's the sexiest part of a woman: her brain! Of course I love to look at a beautiful face, but just looking when there's nothing more, gets boring after a while.
These few women I chose, were part of the Hot 100 women from AfterEllen.com. For the regular straight man, maybe many of these women are not even desirable! But I don't really care about that!
I think every woman has something special, not only these women in the pictures. I'm talking about every woman I know. They are all a combination of beauty, intelligence, determination and strength. They are the pillars of the Earth, the softness of the clouds, the strength of the sea, the freedom of the birds, the love of mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, lovers, partners.
To all the women I know, and all the women that have been in my life at one point or another, I dedicate this post. Specially to you, my dearest...

What is HOT for lesbians!

If you are a lesbian that is fairly often online, you probably saw it already. It is the AfterEllen.com HOT 100 list.
Many lesbians voted to choose who they thought was the HOT women they like. All of the ones I chose are in the list except for my number one, Julia Roberts (but it's OK, I don't have a problem! I'm happy I don't have to share her!)
But if you are not a lesbian, you should check it out!
You'll see that the list is filled with sexy, smart, accomplished, strong women that not every other person might even consider HOT. I think it is an interesting look at what WE think makes a woman desirable. ( WE= the lesbians that gather on the net in a fantastic site)

KARVENAL DER KULTUREN

Last week Berlin had the Carnival of the Cultures of the World. Interesting festival that lasted 4 days. These pictures were taken on Sunday, the day they had the Parade. There's a little of everything, and for everybody! The best is the food you can find all over. The bad thing: The weather! It rained every day! But many people went anyway! Enjoy!

Easy Dating for lesbians...?

I was just talking to a friend about dating. She insists that she rather spend her days off at home, instead of going out on a date with someone that she doesn't know, just so she can feel she is dating. That made me think of the time I was on the "dating scene".
My first girlfriend was a very dear friend. We were friends before, we are still best friends. It was nice because it was a discovery of how wonderful was to kiss a woman! But our love was a long distance thing. We only spent 6 weeks together on vacation, and that was ok.
Then, I realized that I might be a lesbian after all. So I started getting on the chat rooms in AOL, finding people to talk to. I met a woman in 2 different rooms and that's how we started to talk with each other. Yes, my first real lesbian relationship experience was with someone I met on the internet! We lived very far away, but we met, and then we did our best to meet at least once every 2 or 3 months. The phone bill was huge! But at least all those points went into my frequent flier program! We were together for 3 years. She moved in with me after a year and a half, and within 6 months, I knew we wouldn't last. So, we were over but still living together, when I met someone that became my obsession! I fell for that woman like for nobody before. It was too much! I was crazy about her! But she didn't care for me at all!
I was in such bad shape that I decided I had to take her out of my system, and then it was my time for dating!
As many of you know, dating for lesbians is not that easy. If you are not into the bar scene (like me), it is rather difficult to meet people. And if you meet someone who is part of a group, most likely everyone on that group has dated another group member at some point. That simply makes me uncomfortable. So, I did what technology has made easy: I got into the "lesbian personals" of a couple of websites and started meeting people.
At that moment, there were not available those questionnaires where you can choose options of who are you, and what you are looking for.
I wished I could've find ads with pictures like this, for example:

Hello! I'm just coming out of the closet, and even though I belong to a group of beautiful rich women, I would love to meet that someone special who can teach me the simple things in life. I love Tennis, I have a great cat who is practically my husband, and I have few friends that you might be interested in! Of course keep in mind that this would be only an imaginary relationship, because as you might figure out, I'm not a lesbian, but I play one on TV!


or maybe something like this:


I've been through so many relationships with my leading men, I know 'real love' has to be somewhere. I want someone real that can understand me and love me for who I am, and not for who I play. I've made many mistakes, from cutting my hair too short, to marrying a Lovit that only lasted a while. I was even dumped once. I see doubles in my future, but I would like to try something different for a chance! Are you the one that will help me find my true self?

I would have volunteered with either one of them! (come on, dreaming is free today!)
Back then, AOL had a section where women would place ads and other women would answer.
I discover I was actually "hitting" some special people with my writings. I had so many answers!! It was great.
I met people with whom I had an immediate connection, we had a great time. We wanted to see each other again, but not in a romantic way... I am fortunate enough that I'm still friends with some great women I met through that dating section.

I had some adventures, mostly one nighters. I had also some nightmares! It was interesting, but it got to a point where I decided that I couldn't do it anymore! I remember the last date I went on that time. The woman was great looking, but after 20 minutes of conversation, I was there thinking I could've stayed home and clean my closets! It was too much for me to go into a "blind date" with someone that made me feel I wasted my time. I stopped dating all together and just went out with friends. My friends tried to set me up a couple of times, but nothing really happened.
Dating was not easy. It was fun sometimes, but not everytime. It was only when I wasn't looking that I found the "almost perfect"!

My first impression of the Bear

The first time I came to Berlin for a longer stay, I found out that the animal that is the simbol of the city is the Bear. I thought: Wow, how cool is to have a bear as a simbol for the city! Of course, I was imagining a cute bear, like the Gay Grizzly from my older post, or even something like the cartoons of Goldy Locks and the 3 Bears, you know, something nice and cute, something like Disney could put on his animated classic movies. Well, I was shocked when I saw the Berlin Flag:

I mean, this bear looks like the bears one has in nightmares! And then the nails on the bear are red! Is that blood? Because that bear really doesn't look THAT gay! Is that the "Bear Hug" that tourist get when they come to Berlin? Fortunately is only in the flag, and they use it for significant events, like for example the "Berlinale", one of the most important Film Festivals in the World.
Berlin is far from agressive! It is a very welcoming city. These past couple of days we've had wonderful weather. I went to the Kolbe Museum today, and enjoyed very much the ambiance of the place besides the art. Then, drove around Kreuzberg and it was great to see all those old buildings that still remain with such strengh. Berlin has a fascinating history that is old, and at the same time, very new! This flag was adopted to represent ALL Berlin in 1990, right when the Re-unification of Germany. I still remember watching that november on TV how people were on top of the Berlin Wall, and others opening more places to cross... I'm rediscovering this city... I have a love-hate relationship with Berlin. I love it when the weather is like now, warm but fresh, no clouds. I hate it when it rains every day and the sun doesn't shine for a whole week!
Oh well. Tomorrow will be another day, and I hope the weather contributes with a hard day that is waiting for us. Good Night!

The Gay Bear!

I finally found the Gay Grizzly! I know there was another one because I don't think the original actually had a "face" but here you can see it. It is also in Nollendorf Platz, a very gay area in Berlin.
Today I went to the announced "Kissing Marathon"... but there was no such thing! I mean, at least we didn't see anything. We were at Nollendorf Platz and perhaps they met and kissed and left, but we didn't see anything! I guess it was a little too cold.

But we got together with a group of friends and I told two of them that I wanted a picture of kissing to put in my blog, so they did kiss... not before laughing few times! But that's what friends are for, so I can have a picture of two women kissing at a cafe.
The weather was nice enough, but it was too cold still, and raining at times. Then I went with one of my best friends to play pool. How come playing pool is such a "lesbian" activity? In every lesbian bar that has some space, there is a pool table and a blackboard for people to write their names to take turns.
We were lucky. The table was available, but it wasn't a lesbian bar anyway. I saw a woman that was so incredibly drunk, I felt bad for her! I guess she was having the time of her life!
Today was a good day. I hope there are better weeks, but I know things will be hard and difficult. Oh well.

Kissing marathon in Berlin!!!

The 17th of May, there will be a Marathon of Kisses in Berlin, celebrating the "International Day against Homophobia". There will be many places where people will gather and kiss (That's right, they'll get together at a certain place and time, and they will be kissing- honestly I don't think they will be running and kissing!)
Their slogan is "Protect Every Kiss" So they are inviting EVERYBODY gays, lesbians, straights, young and old, to just stop and kiss each other. They also say to bring your Kissing partner with you, so, it is not like everyone is going to be kissing strangers!
The good thing is that the last "kissing point" is Nollendorf Platz, which is my favorite place to go out for coffee, and its fairly close to my house. The bad thing is that my Sweety will be working and wont be able to come. But I'm planning on going and taking pictures. Then I'll show them here.
So, for the people that stop by here everyonce in a while, go with your loved one any place in public and kiss each other! Protect every kiss, and celebrate the International Day Against Homophobia!
I think kissing is much better than any other demostration... don't you think?

Bad, BAD, BAAAD Addiction!!

I've spent the whole night up, reading and reading and reading... and laughing and feeling and all sorts of crazy things that have only made me accept the fact that I am a "Bad Girls" addict!
The worse part is that I have NEVER seen the show! Now how pathetic is that? I've been only reading the recaps of the show that I found in afterellen.com, and thanks to Scribegrrrl, (who by the way is the best recapper ever) I am addicted to a women's prision drama I have never seen! And I thought I was safe! But no, I just can't stop reading and getting more interested in this stuff. I have laughed out loud like a maniac! Just sitting in front of my laptop, reading, laughing, emotional, having tingly feelings that were driving me nuts! (ok, maybe I am hormonal these days of the month, and the fact that my Sweety was not here made it worse!),
So, I've been reading I don't know how many episodes when I finally reach the scene where Nikki and Helen finally kissed. Oh! how romantic was everything in my imagination!
But wait! Then I found another evil element of addiction... right there, at the end of the comments from the users about the episode, as if everything was just normal... there it was: a link to the clip in YouTube! I am not into YouTube! (I wasn't until a couple of hours ago, after I saw so many clips related to Nikki and Helen) But now, I am addicted to that too. I'm sure there has to be some kind of program for these kinds of addictions!
I wanted to embed here one of the clips, but is not permitted. Nonetheless, I've found a kinda corny video-clip with one of my favorite songs by Garth Brooks, and the images of Nikki and Helen. So, here it is... Enjoy it

The Diet Wars.

Today I was supposed to star on a diet. But the day was ugly and rainy, so I decided that I better start tomorrow. Yes, I am a procrastinator, but that is part of my charming personality. Besides, I haven't decide yet what diet I'm going to follow.
I thought of Atkins, since I love meat, but the problem is I love meat with bread, and with Atkins no bread is allowed.
Then I thought about the South Beach Diet, since it is basically the only book I've ever read about dieting ( a good friend sent it to me from Utah)... but I never actually finished it.
Some people say its better to eat one big meal just once a day, and the rest just little things and drinking water. I'm not too sure about that. I like the approach of 6 little meals a day, but then I am afraid that my "little" is not exactly the "little" that is suggested.
I keep in mind that the combination of dieting and exercising should be the key to the effective weight loss process. I love to go on the bike now that I have finally adjusted the new seat on it. But it was raining so I couldn't go out either.
I keep thinking of all those programs I watched on TV while I had insomnia! I remember the Susan Power's program... that woman with a very short white spiky hair that had so much energy on her it was disturbing! And who can forget Richard Simmons!! Is he still around? I remember Rosie O'Donnell saying that she would cry with Richard and his testimonials at 3 in the morning, while eating a bag of Cheetos and drinking Yoo-hoo. As a matter of fact, I think I even have the tape of exercise somewhere, because my ex-girlfriend bought it and left it in my house. I don't think she ever used it.
Lately I even signed up for e-mail subscription of The Biggest Looser diets. I wish I could've seen the show.
Looking in the internet, the amount of sites for e-diets and different programs is simply amazing.
I am sure that there are millions of other weight loss systems in America. Here in Germany people are not that fat, so it is not a big problem and there aren't any dieting programs on infomercials... at least I haven't seen any.
This is like the Diet wars! Only I'm the one fighting against all of them. I hate to be on a diet, my temper gets bad and it could be even nasty. There are people that just do it and even like it.
I remember my friends in the office, they were almost always on a diet! Once they offered me one of those rice cakes. When I saw it I thought: it looks like cardboard. They said it was great. I smelled it and it smelled like cardboard. They said it tasted pretty good. And what a surprise I had when I ate one of those rice cakes, and tasted like cardboard! Those are the things that make me be against all those diet foods! But I know I should do it, I have to face it. There is no escape to that.
So, basically, I should start the diet tomorrow. Or maybe the day after. I don't know. I'll think about it. In the meantime, I'm just going to get a cookie from the kitchen. Good night!

10 years!

Exactly today, 10 years ago, I told my mom that I was gay.
It all started few days before. She was visiting me in New York, I was living with my ex, and we were just friends. I went out with my mom for shopping, and wanted to get b ack home early, to watch the "Ellen" episode where she came out. It was an incredible experience to watch Ellen say to Laura Dern: "I am gay".
Then, the 6th of May my mother finally asked me if my ex and I had a relationship. I said no, but if she was asking me if I was gay, the answer was YES.
She took it easier than I thought at that moment. So it was kind of a victory... later things would change, but that's another story!
So, 10 years ago, I told my mom I was Gay! Oh, and by the way, it's not just a face... it's not a choice... it is who I am!

50

I'm a sucker for everything related to "pop culture". I've seen too much TV and too many movies to not be influenced by it, to not enjoy it.
This weekend I saw the special CNN did on the 50 years of Larry King in broadcasting.

The man has been very close to so many legends! I got the chance to watch the film of the white limos when Elvis died. I was shocked by the clip of Heather Mills taking her leg off!
What would be like to have a job like his? He has talked to presidents, politicians, athletes, actors, legends, and regular people. He played himself in many movies, interviewing "fake" people as if they were real, also voiced the drag queen on "Shrek 2", not to mention he was kissed on the lips by Marlon Brando!
Honestly I was not much of a fan of Larry King. But since I moved to Berlin, his show is one of the few I watch frequently. It keeps me in touch with whatever is happening, whoever is becoming famous. Is like a concentrated portion of American pop culture that you can see almost from everywhere you go.
Maybe is something that comes with age, but I guess I would have never watch him when I was younger.

Guilty pleasures?

-I like to sleep until late. Still I know I don't sleep enough, because I never go to bed before 4 am.
-I prefer soda over coffee. Early in the morning, I rather a glass of chocolate milk.
-I watch MTV more now than ever before. Pimp my Ride is one of my favorite shows.
-I wear my headphones and listen to the same song over and over and over again. But not all the songs are the same. The last song that I played 45 times straight was "Suddenly I see" by KT Tunstall. And yes, I still like it.
-I read Page Six only to keep up with the gossip in New York.
-I read the Obituaries every day.
-I enjoy pressing pimples. The bigger and fatter, the better. I asked my parents for a doll full of pimples once. My mom said that was disgusting.
-I love "The Golden Girls". even in German.
-I only read the "Home & Garden" section of The New York Times.
-I watch "American Chopper" every night, and since its not dubbed, I try to listen to the original dialog under the German voices.
-I love bubble wrap. I enjoy breaking the bubbles.
-I enjoy gay porn more than any other kind. Lesbian porn doesn't do anything for me.

The day is beautiful and I should just get out of here instead of writing about the pleasures that make me feel guilty!