Right across the street

From my window I can see them. They are my friendly gay couple that doesn't watch TV too often, have candle light dinners with friends and now have this person visiting their place... I don't know them. I know they are gay because in the summer they have a rainbow flag on the balcony. They are two middle age guys that sit out and read, decorate their balcony and are rather social. I don't think I could recognize them if I see them on the street. I guess they don't have a pet, and they work long hours. They are almost never home during the day. I see them through my window, but I haven't seen them looking at me. I am of course the curious neighbor!

This is the building where they live. Every place a different story! I have binoculars... I've seen many interesting things, sometimes more interesting than others. I saw a whole pregnancy, a couple of move out and move in, and now I have a camera! Sometimes I shock myself! Of course I'm very self conscious about my neighbors, but so far, only the kid on top points this way with his laser pointer. I want to get one of those bright lights and point it at him when he looks this way. He is probably 8 or 10. His brother is a big football fan. Every time there's a game he waves his huge flag out the window. Their mother is very much into doing laundry. Oh well, regular life, like everywhere else.

And here are a couple of pictures I took tonight.





I'm off to Spain tomorrow, so I don't know if I'll be able to post from there. Perhaps is possible, but not sure. In any case, have a wonderful time,and happy holidays or whatever it is that you do during this time of the year. I'll be waiting for Santa with my nephews! Hasta la vista, baby!

No more GF!

Don't worry, I'm OK with my girlfriend! But from now on, my GF will be known only as "girlfriend". Turns out that she likes to lurk around my blog, and didn't like me using the short version. Her reason: "Sounds military!"
I totally blame this to my American influence, where everything tends to be short and "easier". I remember for example the first time I heard A.S.A.P. It was a little weird but I understood right away the urgency of spelling it instead of saying "as soon as possible".
Then when I started to work, I found so many initials when referring to the things and the people we worked with, that it took me a while to get into the "lingo".
Of course with the use of computers and chat, the amount of "short" phrases are... too many to remember, but the ones I used more are: LOL and brb. The rest, I write them out. After all is not an SMS.
For my girlfriend, chatting is an impossible activity. She gets stressed out because she has to type fast, and she needs to think of the answer she wants to write. She actually told me that many times when we were chatting across continents, she would write by hand first and then type what she wrote on paper. Now we don't chat anymore, but she is a computer savvy who lurks around and makes observations about those little details. So, my dear girlfriend, you got it!

Christmas time

Today I finally went around with the bike to take pictures of some Christmas lights. But before I went to the Kudam, I stopped by the store to buy something to dye my hair. So, since Christmas is so close and all, I decided to dye my hair red, yes, flaming red! The kind of red that Santa Claus wears! Crazy? maybe! but it is not the first time or the worst thing I've done, so I'm OK with that. (I wanted to dye my hair green, but my GF gave me a really negative answer to that, threatening with not seeing me while green head! ) So, red it is!
The first step is to bleach my hair which is naturally dark brown, and the red can actually be more bright. I just finished bleaching, and since it is the first time I've done it in a very long time, now my hair is the color of straw... that yellowish/white with some orange kind of straw. Tomorrow I'll go to get a haircut and there I'll dye my hair red.
Funny thing, is that when the color wears out, then my hair becomes rather pink.

And here are some pictures from the Christmas decorations around Kudam, which is a very popular shopping area for visitors and locals alike. Not exactly a cheap area to go shopping. It would be more or less like Fifth Ave. in New York City. They have this little Christmas market that I plan to visit in the following days. Then I'll post more pictures.

Rain

The worst thing about having rain for the last 5 days, is that they give me the perfect excuse to procrastinate! I am already an expert on leaving things to do for later, in another day, at another time. I got also sick with a bad cold, and the increase on the "lazy" factor was so high, that I woder how am I going to deal with everything I actually have to do!
I spent most of the time reading, doing research, watching TV, and basically drinking my cold away with juices and teas. My house is such a mess! But, instead of cleaning, here I am, updating my blog with probably the least creative posting ever!
I am too lazy to even fix it. And it is a testimony for myself. To my invisible friends that read this page, I am sorry. I wanted to write and post pictures about the Christmas lightings in Berlin, but I haven't been out and have no new pictures... maybe next time.

Moonlight

The light was so bright, I thought it was a lamp outside my window. The problem is that there are no lamps on the fifth floor. As amazing as it is not being full moon yet, I couldn't resist and took some pictures. Technically I used low speed on the camera. Tried different things except using the tripod. So, here are some of the pix I took.


Digital cameras with all the possibilities of manual analog cameras are so much fun! I have it with me all the time, with extra rechargeable AA batteries and I use it almost everywhere. If you are curious, it is a Kodak Z1275.

And if you are into experimenting with light, speed and ISO, this little camera is the perfect one. Another addiction: I am now addicted to my digital camera! How pathetic am I?? (Just hope that my old beautiful analog camera doesn't find out. I feel unfaithful to her after all these years... Oh well!)

Life, only quieter

"Sometimes a good fantasy is better than a sad reality"
To escape into the world of fantasies, or daydreaming, has become one of my favorite activities lately. Life is good, but things have changed. Most of the friends I know here in Berlin don't live here anymore. So, they too like many others, have become long distance friends. Fortunately they are not distant.
And then, I see that for every Euro I have to pay 1.48 US dollars... that totally makes me sad! I have to get back to the States, because I can't afford living here at this rate.
The consequences are of course having a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, and it is something that I don't even want to think about! Now I am doing the research again, on where to go when I go back. So far and at the top of my list is Pittsburgh. Very affordable to live with roommates, fairly close to New York, and a lot of cultural activity, at least on paper.
Of course everything could be different! Something might happen that would change my destiny, that would avoid the move back, something that would open up a different window for me.
In the meantime I keep reading and sometimes writing.

My Birthday!

At my age, which I am not going to disclose at such a public place, birthdays come by so fast, that I can hardly take them into account! Some times I even have to think hard of the year I was born, and then remember my real age! LOL!
As we've been doing for the last 4 years, I went out for dinner with my GF. We had a great time at an Argentinian restaurant where the steak is superb! This time was rather quiet, just the two of us, very intimate and fun!

As a gift I got a book published in French, with photos of women that are just getting out of bed. Many of them are very famous... they look so good even at that moment of the day! Two of my favorite women are in the book: Emma Thompson and Demi Moore.
And I also got a very cozy blanquet, perfect to use in winter while watching TV on the sofa.

I was thinking about how my life has change with my GF in it! She helps me see everything under a different perspective, savoring every moment, enjoying each other's company and having a blast with the simplest things. I can't imagine my life without her! It is so great to be in love! Today I feel very fortunate to have her with me.

First Snow

I live on the top flor of the building. Not exactly the luxury Pent House that some people might think. Rather, the very small apartment in between two bigger units. Saturday afternoon, there we were in bed, watching a movie. The light from the sun was showing through the curtains, looked like a nice beautiful day. Then, when the movie was ending, all of a sudden I see that the sun disappeared. Perhaps 20 minutes later, we open the curtain and we see it is snowing!
I grew up in a place where snow was a thing of the very high mountains in The Andes. The rest of the country, pretty much 28 Celsius all year 'round. So, even though I've lived the last 18 years in places where winter is really a change in the weather, I still get all happy to see the first snow of the season. I enjoy to touch it, feel the cold and even open my mouth when the snow hits my face. Yes, I do feel like a kid when its snowing. I was hoping I could do some snowballs to throw, but unfortunately it was more ice than snow. It looked good though... But in matter of minutes it was all gone. Berlin has a thing with rain. The snow is something we don't see accumulating very often. The temperatures are not low enough most of the time, so me mostly get rain.
The most incredible thing was that, while it was still snowing on one side, the other side was showing a clear sky above the clouds... really a very nice view.

Hello, my name is Sally and I'm an addict

I know I am weak! I have an addictive personality. I can get addicted to so many things at the same time. So, today I decided to admit publicly that yes, I am addicted to the following things:
Coke, Trendy Lemon, Sushi, Grey's Anatomy transcripts (I only have the second season on DVD so I read the rest of them online here), Desperate Housewives transcripts, AfterEllen.com, Scribegrrrl recaps of Bad Girls on Afterellen.com, And also the recaps of the terrible shows that they put in there.
I am addicted to a bunch of blogs, they are all in my Blogrol. I read the Obituaries every day. I play pogo.com everytime I'm on the phone. I talk on the phone for hours. I like to watch "Wissen" on German TV (documentary about how things are made). I've seen these series over and over: The Sopranos, Sex and the City, Queer as Folk, The L Word.
I am getting addicted to Weeds (The TV series, not marihuana).
I'm addicted to taking hot baths, drinking hot chocolate, eating Tamarindo, playing the slots machines at casinos, going out on the bike, taking pictures with my new camera, reading Mafalda, reading old postcards from my girlfriend.
I am addicted to the smell of my girlfriend's pillow, conversations until very late at night, apple with cheese, powder milk, and talking with my nephews. There is no particular order in my addicitions. And the picture, is from my favorite Sushi restaurant here in Berlin. When my friends came to visit, that's what we order for us 4. No, I didn't eat the whole thing by myself!

Halloween Business

It was Halloween and I am amazed how much the kids in this building are into it! When I came to Berlin for the first time, Halloween was nowhere to be seen. Nobody really cared about it, and that was not even something to consider for a celebration... I think only one gay bar had a Halloween Party, and it was not about dressing up. But now, it has developed into a little party that is growing every year. They sell candy, but not the US Halloween candy... just regular Haribo candy. Kids are dressing up, and most annoying of all, ringing my bell because they think I have candy for them! I am an American but sorry, I don't have candy. And much less when the dollar is so low against the Euro!

"I never met a lesbian before"

I had two friends visiting Berlin for few days and they stayed with me. We had a great time, even though my body is so tired of all the activities that typical tourists do: we went everywhere! On top of that, the last two days we did some touring with the bicycles, so they experienced how's Berlin on a bike. I know Carol for at least 26 years. I met Jane recently at Carol's house. They are both straight, with partners, but very independent women. They know what they want and go for it. Talking with Jane, she said that she never met a lesbian before. I told her that I was sure she knew them, but didn't know they were lesbians. They both live in Venezuela, a country where being gay is something that it's still taboo, and it is even more for women. The lesbians there would hardly come out of the closet, and are experts at hiding it. Jane even assumed that just going to a gay/lesbian bar would automatically mean that they have come out of the closet. Can you imagine??
I was there, and I know that many people that go to bars are still very much in the closet! They have this undergrownd network where everyone is very aware and like to keep things secretly.
As for the last activity before they went back home, we went to a lesbian bar. At the door, they were a little scared, thinking that women would start touching them or telling them things. But then they realized that it was just people that went there dancing, have a drink or two and have a good time above all. I guess they learned a bit more about how it is the life of a lesbian. They met my girlfriend, we talked about many things, and I know they had a good time here.
I think it is important to come out just because of visibility. When people that know you for the longest time, suddenly know that you are a homosexual, very seldom would reject you. I had a friend who after I came out she stopped talking to me altogether. Another friend, said that she would ignore that aspect of my life but would treat me the same. Of course for me that was the end of the friendship we had. But my real friends have been very supportive, they accepted me and my girlfriend, and they know that what is important is that I'm happy, and I am still the same person.

I got this on an e-mail!

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Out with the bike...

Today I took advantage of a wonderful day and went out with the bike. I wanted to check out the Open Air Exhibit of Botero in Berlin. Interesting and very crowded. It was a little cold, but there were no clouds in the sky and it was so nice. My depression is still there, like in the back burner, but I'm getting over it little by little.
Here are some pictures I took today with my new camera. By the way, my camera is a Kodak Easyshare Z1275. It is great! And yes, I can take panoramic pictures with it. I'm still experimenting and trying things every day, but so far I must say it was a pretty good investment. Most of the pictures are from very typical Berlin sites.
The Brandenburg Gate.

The Siegessäule

Berlin's Cathedral

Checkpoint Charlie. This was the entrance control for the American sector when Berlin was divided by the wall.










The Television Tower

And then there's music!

So there I was happy as a clam, taking pictures with my new camera, and discovering new things to do with it. (Why are clams happy I don't know yet). Then I got disappointing news that actually got me depressed. I felt bad, low, didn't feel like going out and taking more pictures. My girlfriend came to cheer me up. It worked for a while and then I was low again.
There's nothing I can do about the news, even though it was something I expected.
So today I decided to take action against depression and got myself imersed in another world: I put on the headphones to listen to music. I've been listening to everything! From Joni Mitchel to Shakira, to classical music and Christmas songs. Yes, it was the "party shuffle" on the iTunes doing its job of really mixing things up.
To make a long story short, music is definitely the language that speaks better to emotions. At least for me.
And now I feel so much better. Only one thing, I just broke my laptop!!! The screen was not going back enough so I pushed and some piece of plastic jumped out of it!!!. Apparently that's the only thing and it will not be a problem. At least I hope so! Well, here's the damage to my computer.


I'm like a kid with a new toy with my new camera! I find technology fascinating. Oh, by the way, when using your digital camera to take "panoramic" pictures, just make sure there is nothing moving around, or you'll end up with a phantom!

Turn on your gaydars and tell me what you think!

Ok, there I was flipping channels and I found a game of the Women's World Cup. It was Germany against Argentina I think. Germany won by a huge margin, something like 11-0. Anyway, they showed for a couple of seconds the trainer of the German Team, Silvia Neid. I never saw her before, and for what I saw I was curious... just because she looked like the type of women I'm usually attracted to. So, I went into the FIFA website and found a couple of pictures of her.
On this one, she looks like a nice person,I find her very attractive, a little too wrinkled for her age maybe, but she looks nice. But then I saw a couple of more pictures and really got me thinking that Silvia might be a lesbian. I mean, what are the chances of that happening??? like 100%??
Am I too predisposed to think that women that are into sports and are coaches of a soccer team, are usually lesbians?





I have to explain, my "gaydar" is pretty good; very seldom I make mistakes when confronted with someone face to face. Sometimes on pictures I get the vibe too, and on these pictures, well... you tell me! What do you think?
Is Silvia a lesbian? Is she out? Am I wrong? Of course all your comments are welcome, and if you have any inside information please share it! I'm sure I'm not the only one curious about this.

I'm ashamed!

When I started this blog, I thought I would write more often than I do. My idea was to do some kind of a diary, or something like that. But then I decided than unless I had something interesting to say, then why write?
So, in retrospect, the last 3 weeks have been pretty normal and not too exciting! I mean, I have fun with my sweety, I do whatever I have to do, I've watched more TV than usual, and today that the day is finally sunny and beautiful, here I am writing on the computer instead of biking around!
I haven't even felt like downloading the pictures I took on vacation. I don't know if I can actually call this some sort of depression, but could it be? Is not that I'm not active, but I'm just not motivated enough!
There are few projects that I have in mind right now, I'm also waiting for the visit of a very good friend at the begining of next month. But it bugs me that my concentration doesn't lasts as long as it used to be!
And I find many things boring!
Well, I'm giving myself the chance to step up to the plate and be more active and motivated... starting monday! LOL!
I think I better go and enjoy the sun for a bit!

I'm Baack!... and so is Star Jones??

Yes, I'm back in Berlin, still out of my schedule and sleeping all over with the jetlag from 6 hours behind, but enjoying home and trying to rest from my vacation.
So far, I met my girlfriend and we had a great time talking about everything. I've been "wasting" my time reading stuff on the Internet, and found that Star Jones, the only woman that was on The View that I couldn't stand at any moment and much less after she lost herself on weight, is back on TV with a show but not with a live audience. I hope she does well, just because I don't want to wish anything bad to anybody, but she really sucks!!! I find her terribly fake and I'm sure her husband is gay! He looks gay! I don't have anything against gay people marrying for convenience! I just can't stand her!
Oh, I miss Meredith on The View. This is just one of those things that I miss the most living in Europe: American TV. It is not the same to watch "House" in German or in Spanish. Dubbing something is killing the intention of the writers and the audience misses the acting that comes with the original voice.
I don't have a problem dubbing animated movies, but I want my Desperate Housewives in English with subtitles!
Berlin feels like summer, which is good! I see the long sunsets and the huge clouds that were so different in the tropics, where I was for 3 weeks, and I can't but admire how different are things from one place to the other.
I enjoy the German documentaries, they are very interesting and entertaining.
I still don't know what happened to Harry Potter on the last book. But I guess I'll be reading the books, since my nephew got into them.
Oh! Now I'm hooked with the recaps of South of Nowhere on Afterellen.com. How is it possible that a teenage drama grabs my attention so much, without me seeing any of the episodes?? I think I am too gay!

Vacation time

I´m on vacation in Venezuela! The weather is fine, hot but rainy most days. There are many things happening, and I´m meeting friends every day, having a good time and enjoying life in the tropics for one more week, before I go back to Berlin.
I´ll upload pictures as soon as I´m back. Ooops... gotta go! My friends just came to pick me up!

The Death of Harry Potter! (or my comments to Ms. Rowling)

So, is he the one that dies in the last book?
Who dies??
Why would you want to end a story that has brought you more money than you ever thought possible, specially when you started writing the first book?
I'm sorry Ms Rowling, but since I am not actually a "Potter fan" (and I understand why they are not really called "Potter Heads") I don't have a problem speculating about what is going on with this book.
It is definitely an incredible phenomena! The secrecy of your books is much better protected than the secrecy of confession by a catholic priest who likes gossip!
I am one of those rare people who hasn't read any of the books or watched any of the movies. So I don't really care if he dies or if he continues to live. I rather not get involved anymore with fictional characters... I'm still recovering from the death of Dana on "The L Word", not to mention my addiction to "Bad Girls", but at least they have something I can identify with!
But I have to admit, Harry Potter has to have something. I am sure they are great works, and I admire you deeply, Ms. Rowling! You have made a whole generation that is growing up surrounded by video games and computer games, to go and pick up a book... and actually read it to end! Of course it doesn't hurt that there's Harry Potter merchandise, Harry Potter video games, and of course the most money making machine, the Harry Potter movies franchise!
I saw the lines of kids in London waiting for midnight, so they could buy a copy of your last installment of the famous boy with glasses. I even saw a brief report about how it was against Jewish law to open the stores and sell anything on the Sabbath (referring of course to the fact that the bookstores wanted to be open in Israel, so the fans could get their book on release day too!)
Do you have any idea of the influence you have all over the world? I guess you do. One of my friends who I respect very much is planning a literary course based on the Harry Potter books!
I went to your ""official site" and I loved the design! You have endless pieces of used gum packs all over! I guess your dentist is a very happy guy too. Is that a good example to set for your fans? Ruin your teeth chewing gum?
I was also very happy to see what a mess you have in your desk, just like me! Only I still don't have any spiders crawling around! (not that I've seen any so far)
So, since this weekend I've been bombarded with Harry Potter, I decided to just dedicate this post to him. I thought of writing also about the Tour de France, but those guys have still one more week to go and there's plenty of time for me to comment on them.
I'm wondering... are there any lesbians on the Harry Potter stories? I doubt it... it wouldn't be that popular! LOL!

Happy Gays are here to stay!!

Today I'm in a good mood! The sun was shining, the warm weather is back in Berlin, the strawberry ice cream was delicious, and I decided to do a little collage with the few pictures I took when Berlin celebrated the Street Fair for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transsexuals. How do you like it?
I noticed that I didn't have any picture of lesbians! Shame on me!!! But we got there late, it was raining earlier, and we got together with other friends... so, I basically forgot that I was with the camera and should have taken pictures. Maybe next time.
The only sad thing I have to report, is that I had to give away the only plant that has been in my house since I moved here to Berlin. The reason is because I'll be going away for almost a month, and also the fact that the poor plant was approaching a certain death under my care!
I've never been good with plants. I don't have a green thumb (or any finger for that matter) I think they don't like me! I was doing exactly what everybody else does, but this plant was looking at me so sad! So, I gave it to my neighbors. They'll take care of her.
With kids and animals I am much better! They usually like me and we have a great time! My nephews and the kids of my friends can testify for that. And with animals, I'm also pretty good, even when I had to improvise a short funeral for a gold fish with my nephews. They were convinced that "Hansom Face" had a happy life before flushing him down the toilette.
On other news, some of the candidates for the Democrat's nomination will be participating in a forum on gay issues. That will be interesting to watch. I have my doubts that they'll be that open and will say the things we are waiting for them to say, like their position on same sex marriage... we'll see.

My girlfriend is getting better every day, and that alone is the best news for me!
I was listening to Barbra Streisand, hence the title of this post. Later !

Rooting for the "underdog"... Paul Potts.

I am not one of those who watch TV shows where people go for competition to become singers or dancers. Show's like America's Idol, in any version (I've seen the one in Spain and here in Germany) are really not my favorite. I feel disappointed when people go there and they are really bad. It makes me feel uncomfortable. But there are exceptions, and I know I missed most of them.
I just watched one of those stories that moved me and almost made me cry. Perhaps I'm too sensitive today, but I think it is really a great story. Paul Potts is this guy that few weeks ago was a simple unknown cell phone salesman, and got his chance of showing that he got talent in "Britain's got talent". His audition was something amazing, and that's why I wanted to share it.


The best thing is that even Simon Cowell was amazed!
This underdog story of success, makes me think that there is always an oportunity for a new begining, no matter what one has been through!

"Hospital food sucks!"

I'm back in Berlin after 11 days sharing with my nephews in Spain. It was a great visit. Being with them is always fun, entertaining and I come back exhausted! I was looking forward to come back so I could visit my girlfriend in the hospital. She went through a very serious operation, but she is doing great! I went to visit her today, and we were talking about many things. I brought her some Manchego Cheese from Spain, and Gummy Bears. But I should have brought something else! She told me plain and simple that "Hospital food sucks!" It made me laugh! We recently saw "Rain Man", and we laughed at Dustin Hoffman's character saying "K-Mart sucks!"
That's when I thought... how many things I take for granted every day? From my health to those little details, like food that is apetizing, like a nice sunny day to celebrate a summer festivity, like a breeze of fresh air in a room that is probably too hot and uncomfortable? Millions of things that I have and that I take for granted!
Life is too short, and I want to enjoy every minute of it. I want to be able to see everyday for what it is: a new unwrapped gift waiting for me to open it. filled with surprises, with new adventures, with new knowledge. I know is easier to concentrate in the simple things, in the smaller things, and that way the bigger things will be a lot easier to take.
With an "L" that is backwards made of staples, she is getting better every day, and it made me happy to hear her say that hospital food sucks! Tomorrow, what about Sushi?

Gay Pride

I´ve been gay for a long time, but only for the last 12 years or so I´ve been more open. Last weekend in Berlin, there was a Street Fair dedicated to Gays and Lesbians. It was pretty crowded like always, and I got the chance to meet people that basically I only see once a year! We got together with friends, and walked around a little. I took some pictures and I´ll post them later when I get back to Berlin. Today is practically impossible because I can´t dump them into this computer. So, I owe you those pictures!
This weekend is the "Christopher Street Day" in Berlin. There will be a parade to celebrate Gay Pride; people will fill up the streets. There will be the gay supporters, the closeted, the out and proud, and of course the curious passer by that can´t take their eyes of those beautiful men that are walking around with such tight and sexy outfits it makes it impossible not to look! The good thing about Berlin, is that being naked is allowed, and there will be also many people walking around completely naked. The bad thing, is that many of them don´t have such great bodies...
Unfortunately I will not be there this year to show you some pictures, but I´ll try to get some from my friends.
I´ve been to many parades! Loved the ones in New York City! Now I reached the point in my life that is not so important to go and march and be "out and proud". Being a lesbian on my everyday life, is perhaps the best I can do, even when I can´t be that out and proud!
Happy Gay Pride Month!

Spain for few days...

One of those things that I planned in advance because is cheap! So, I am in Barcelona for few days, enjoying my time with two of the smartest people I know. One is five years old, the other one is seven! They are very much into dinosaurs, pirates, and japanese cartoons. They also show their love with hugs and kisses, and constantly ask what some word means. I´m crazy about them, they are crazy about me. Every time we get together is party time! They trust that I will protect them no matter what, and trust my better judgement for some situations. They are learning English, but they are also fluent in Catalonian and are Spanish speakers. Their eyes light up with every single little gift that I bring them, no matter how little or cheap or whatever. It matters that their favorite aunt brought it. They are the love of my life. Such intense feeling, so unconditional, so incredibly deep since the first moment I had them in my arms... I can only imagine what a mother feels!
I love being an aunt!

What is it about WOMEN??

Please, lets observe for a moment. There is something very special about the women in the picture.
What is it?
Is it their eyes? Their lips? Their hair? Their soft skin? Perhaps their smile? What is it that makes them beautiful, interesting, sexy?
There are a million things I like about women! If I make a review of all the women I've been attracted to my whole life, and the women that I've been involved with, I have to come to the same conclusion every time. They all have in common that they are smart women. Some much more than others! But that was basically what attracted me to them.
To me that's the sexiest part of a woman: her brain! Of course I love to look at a beautiful face, but just looking when there's nothing more, gets boring after a while.
These few women I chose, were part of the Hot 100 women from AfterEllen.com. For the regular straight man, maybe many of these women are not even desirable! But I don't really care about that!
I think every woman has something special, not only these women in the pictures. I'm talking about every woman I know. They are all a combination of beauty, intelligence, determination and strength. They are the pillars of the Earth, the softness of the clouds, the strength of the sea, the freedom of the birds, the love of mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, lovers, partners.
To all the women I know, and all the women that have been in my life at one point or another, I dedicate this post. Specially to you, my dearest...

What is HOT for lesbians!

If you are a lesbian that is fairly often online, you probably saw it already. It is the AfterEllen.com HOT 100 list.
Many lesbians voted to choose who they thought was the HOT women they like. All of the ones I chose are in the list except for my number one, Julia Roberts (but it's OK, I don't have a problem! I'm happy I don't have to share her!)
But if you are not a lesbian, you should check it out!
You'll see that the list is filled with sexy, smart, accomplished, strong women that not every other person might even consider HOT. I think it is an interesting look at what WE think makes a woman desirable. ( WE= the lesbians that gather on the net in a fantastic site)

KARVENAL DER KULTUREN

Last week Berlin had the Carnival of the Cultures of the World. Interesting festival that lasted 4 days. These pictures were taken on Sunday, the day they had the Parade. There's a little of everything, and for everybody! The best is the food you can find all over. The bad thing: The weather! It rained every day! But many people went anyway! Enjoy!

Easy Dating for lesbians...?

I was just talking to a friend about dating. She insists that she rather spend her days off at home, instead of going out on a date with someone that she doesn't know, just so she can feel she is dating. That made me think of the time I was on the "dating scene".
My first girlfriend was a very dear friend. We were friends before, we are still best friends. It was nice because it was a discovery of how wonderful was to kiss a woman! But our love was a long distance thing. We only spent 6 weeks together on vacation, and that was ok.
Then, I realized that I might be a lesbian after all. So I started getting on the chat rooms in AOL, finding people to talk to. I met a woman in 2 different rooms and that's how we started to talk with each other. Yes, my first real lesbian relationship experience was with someone I met on the internet! We lived very far away, but we met, and then we did our best to meet at least once every 2 or 3 months. The phone bill was huge! But at least all those points went into my frequent flier program! We were together for 3 years. She moved in with me after a year and a half, and within 6 months, I knew we wouldn't last. So, we were over but still living together, when I met someone that became my obsession! I fell for that woman like for nobody before. It was too much! I was crazy about her! But she didn't care for me at all!
I was in such bad shape that I decided I had to take her out of my system, and then it was my time for dating!
As many of you know, dating for lesbians is not that easy. If you are not into the bar scene (like me), it is rather difficult to meet people. And if you meet someone who is part of a group, most likely everyone on that group has dated another group member at some point. That simply makes me uncomfortable. So, I did what technology has made easy: I got into the "lesbian personals" of a couple of websites and started meeting people.
At that moment, there were not available those questionnaires where you can choose options of who are you, and what you are looking for.
I wished I could've find ads with pictures like this, for example:

Hello! I'm just coming out of the closet, and even though I belong to a group of beautiful rich women, I would love to meet that someone special who can teach me the simple things in life. I love Tennis, I have a great cat who is practically my husband, and I have few friends that you might be interested in! Of course keep in mind that this would be only an imaginary relationship, because as you might figure out, I'm not a lesbian, but I play one on TV!


or maybe something like this:


I've been through so many relationships with my leading men, I know 'real love' has to be somewhere. I want someone real that can understand me and love me for who I am, and not for who I play. I've made many mistakes, from cutting my hair too short, to marrying a Lovit that only lasted a while. I was even dumped once. I see doubles in my future, but I would like to try something different for a chance! Are you the one that will help me find my true self?

I would have volunteered with either one of them! (come on, dreaming is free today!)
Back then, AOL had a section where women would place ads and other women would answer.
I discover I was actually "hitting" some special people with my writings. I had so many answers!! It was great.
I met people with whom I had an immediate connection, we had a great time. We wanted to see each other again, but not in a romantic way... I am fortunate enough that I'm still friends with some great women I met through that dating section.

I had some adventures, mostly one nighters. I had also some nightmares! It was interesting, but it got to a point where I decided that I couldn't do it anymore! I remember the last date I went on that time. The woman was great looking, but after 20 minutes of conversation, I was there thinking I could've stayed home and clean my closets! It was too much for me to go into a "blind date" with someone that made me feel I wasted my time. I stopped dating all together and just went out with friends. My friends tried to set me up a couple of times, but nothing really happened.
Dating was not easy. It was fun sometimes, but not everytime. It was only when I wasn't looking that I found the "almost perfect"!

My first impression of the Bear

The first time I came to Berlin for a longer stay, I found out that the animal that is the simbol of the city is the Bear. I thought: Wow, how cool is to have a bear as a simbol for the city! Of course, I was imagining a cute bear, like the Gay Grizzly from my older post, or even something like the cartoons of Goldy Locks and the 3 Bears, you know, something nice and cute, something like Disney could put on his animated classic movies. Well, I was shocked when I saw the Berlin Flag:

I mean, this bear looks like the bears one has in nightmares! And then the nails on the bear are red! Is that blood? Because that bear really doesn't look THAT gay! Is that the "Bear Hug" that tourist get when they come to Berlin? Fortunately is only in the flag, and they use it for significant events, like for example the "Berlinale", one of the most important Film Festivals in the World.
Berlin is far from agressive! It is a very welcoming city. These past couple of days we've had wonderful weather. I went to the Kolbe Museum today, and enjoyed very much the ambiance of the place besides the art. Then, drove around Kreuzberg and it was great to see all those old buildings that still remain with such strengh. Berlin has a fascinating history that is old, and at the same time, very new! This flag was adopted to represent ALL Berlin in 1990, right when the Re-unification of Germany. I still remember watching that november on TV how people were on top of the Berlin Wall, and others opening more places to cross... I'm rediscovering this city... I have a love-hate relationship with Berlin. I love it when the weather is like now, warm but fresh, no clouds. I hate it when it rains every day and the sun doesn't shine for a whole week!
Oh well. Tomorrow will be another day, and I hope the weather contributes with a hard day that is waiting for us. Good Night!

The Gay Bear!

I finally found the Gay Grizzly! I know there was another one because I don't think the original actually had a "face" but here you can see it. It is also in Nollendorf Platz, a very gay area in Berlin.
Today I went to the announced "Kissing Marathon"... but there was no such thing! I mean, at least we didn't see anything. We were at Nollendorf Platz and perhaps they met and kissed and left, but we didn't see anything! I guess it was a little too cold.

But we got together with a group of friends and I told two of them that I wanted a picture of kissing to put in my blog, so they did kiss... not before laughing few times! But that's what friends are for, so I can have a picture of two women kissing at a cafe.
The weather was nice enough, but it was too cold still, and raining at times. Then I went with one of my best friends to play pool. How come playing pool is such a "lesbian" activity? In every lesbian bar that has some space, there is a pool table and a blackboard for people to write their names to take turns.
We were lucky. The table was available, but it wasn't a lesbian bar anyway. I saw a woman that was so incredibly drunk, I felt bad for her! I guess she was having the time of her life!
Today was a good day. I hope there are better weeks, but I know things will be hard and difficult. Oh well.

Kissing marathon in Berlin!!!

The 17th of May, there will be a Marathon of Kisses in Berlin, celebrating the "International Day against Homophobia". There will be many places where people will gather and kiss (That's right, they'll get together at a certain place and time, and they will be kissing- honestly I don't think they will be running and kissing!)
Their slogan is "Protect Every Kiss" So they are inviting EVERYBODY gays, lesbians, straights, young and old, to just stop and kiss each other. They also say to bring your Kissing partner with you, so, it is not like everyone is going to be kissing strangers!
The good thing is that the last "kissing point" is Nollendorf Platz, which is my favorite place to go out for coffee, and its fairly close to my house. The bad thing is that my Sweety will be working and wont be able to come. But I'm planning on going and taking pictures. Then I'll show them here.
So, for the people that stop by here everyonce in a while, go with your loved one any place in public and kiss each other! Protect every kiss, and celebrate the International Day Against Homophobia!
I think kissing is much better than any other demostration... don't you think?

Bad, BAD, BAAAD Addiction!!

I've spent the whole night up, reading and reading and reading... and laughing and feeling and all sorts of crazy things that have only made me accept the fact that I am a "Bad Girls" addict!
The worse part is that I have NEVER seen the show! Now how pathetic is that? I've been only reading the recaps of the show that I found in afterellen.com, and thanks to Scribegrrrl, (who by the way is the best recapper ever) I am addicted to a women's prision drama I have never seen! And I thought I was safe! But no, I just can't stop reading and getting more interested in this stuff. I have laughed out loud like a maniac! Just sitting in front of my laptop, reading, laughing, emotional, having tingly feelings that were driving me nuts! (ok, maybe I am hormonal these days of the month, and the fact that my Sweety was not here made it worse!),
So, I've been reading I don't know how many episodes when I finally reach the scene where Nikki and Helen finally kissed. Oh! how romantic was everything in my imagination!
But wait! Then I found another evil element of addiction... right there, at the end of the comments from the users about the episode, as if everything was just normal... there it was: a link to the clip in YouTube! I am not into YouTube! (I wasn't until a couple of hours ago, after I saw so many clips related to Nikki and Helen) But now, I am addicted to that too. I'm sure there has to be some kind of program for these kinds of addictions!
I wanted to embed here one of the clips, but is not permitted. Nonetheless, I've found a kinda corny video-clip with one of my favorite songs by Garth Brooks, and the images of Nikki and Helen. So, here it is... Enjoy it

The Diet Wars.

Today I was supposed to star on a diet. But the day was ugly and rainy, so I decided that I better start tomorrow. Yes, I am a procrastinator, but that is part of my charming personality. Besides, I haven't decide yet what diet I'm going to follow.
I thought of Atkins, since I love meat, but the problem is I love meat with bread, and with Atkins no bread is allowed.
Then I thought about the South Beach Diet, since it is basically the only book I've ever read about dieting ( a good friend sent it to me from Utah)... but I never actually finished it.
Some people say its better to eat one big meal just once a day, and the rest just little things and drinking water. I'm not too sure about that. I like the approach of 6 little meals a day, but then I am afraid that my "little" is not exactly the "little" that is suggested.
I keep in mind that the combination of dieting and exercising should be the key to the effective weight loss process. I love to go on the bike now that I have finally adjusted the new seat on it. But it was raining so I couldn't go out either.
I keep thinking of all those programs I watched on TV while I had insomnia! I remember the Susan Power's program... that woman with a very short white spiky hair that had so much energy on her it was disturbing! And who can forget Richard Simmons!! Is he still around? I remember Rosie O'Donnell saying that she would cry with Richard and his testimonials at 3 in the morning, while eating a bag of Cheetos and drinking Yoo-hoo. As a matter of fact, I think I even have the tape of exercise somewhere, because my ex-girlfriend bought it and left it in my house. I don't think she ever used it.
Lately I even signed up for e-mail subscription of The Biggest Looser diets. I wish I could've seen the show.
Looking in the internet, the amount of sites for e-diets and different programs is simply amazing.
I am sure that there are millions of other weight loss systems in America. Here in Germany people are not that fat, so it is not a big problem and there aren't any dieting programs on infomercials... at least I haven't seen any.
This is like the Diet wars! Only I'm the one fighting against all of them. I hate to be on a diet, my temper gets bad and it could be even nasty. There are people that just do it and even like it.
I remember my friends in the office, they were almost always on a diet! Once they offered me one of those rice cakes. When I saw it I thought: it looks like cardboard. They said it was great. I smelled it and it smelled like cardboard. They said it tasted pretty good. And what a surprise I had when I ate one of those rice cakes, and tasted like cardboard! Those are the things that make me be against all those diet foods! But I know I should do it, I have to face it. There is no escape to that.
So, basically, I should start the diet tomorrow. Or maybe the day after. I don't know. I'll think about it. In the meantime, I'm just going to get a cookie from the kitchen. Good night!

10 years!

Exactly today, 10 years ago, I told my mom that I was gay.
It all started few days before. She was visiting me in New York, I was living with my ex, and we were just friends. I went out with my mom for shopping, and wanted to get b ack home early, to watch the "Ellen" episode where she came out. It was an incredible experience to watch Ellen say to Laura Dern: "I am gay".
Then, the 6th of May my mother finally asked me if my ex and I had a relationship. I said no, but if she was asking me if I was gay, the answer was YES.
She took it easier than I thought at that moment. So it was kind of a victory... later things would change, but that's another story!
So, 10 years ago, I told my mom I was Gay! Oh, and by the way, it's not just a face... it's not a choice... it is who I am!